Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dreaming of the Melbourne Shuffle

My guilty pleasure is surfing YouTube. There’s a fine line between taking a break and wasting time; a line I usually cross.  I may start with a legitimate purpose in mind, such as finding out what  Billy Joe threw off the Tallahassee Bridge.  (Yes, inquiring minds want to know).  So, with a few keystrokes, I can be listening to Bobbie Gentry sing “Ode to Billie Joe”... all eight versions.  Then I‘ll check out other suggested viewing options which ultimately devolve until  I’m watching people do stupid things with motorcycles. Before I know it, instead of writing a perfectly poignant post for you, Dear Reader, I have wasted away yet another morning.

I had the best of intentions  when I typed “Shuffling” into the YouTube search window. This was to be solid  PD research for the citizen scientist.  Instead, I discovered the Melbourne Shuffle.

It is a dance: fluid,yet twitchy. It looks like a cross between the Michael Jackson Moonwalk and Irish Folk dancing, performed to thumping techno music. I was mesmerized. The hook was the dozens of  posts that promised to teach me how to move like the people in the videos. It’s all there, broken down into what seems like an easy collection of movements. "Do this, then that, then do this again." I had visions of showing up at my next doctor's appointment, walking to end of the hallway during my usual  “how’s he walking now?”exam, and breaking into an “I’ll show you” Melbourne Shuffle extravaganza.  Dr. A would be so proud.

I can dream, but its not gonna happen. I have practiced. Really. The dance steps make sense, and if I could string them together with some fluidity, I might just pull it off. Unfortunately, as I concentrate on my feet, I end up with my right arm curled up and my upper body twisted, Quasimodo style.

I guess that’s my dance. Next time you're at my gym look for me. I’ll be the one putting on the Quasimodo Shuffle.

Melbourne Shuffle done right!

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