Sunday, December 12, 2010

A New Twist

Post  21

Symptoms sneak up on me.  It‘s not like waking up in one morning with a cold.  A new symptom is merely a vague perception; a possibility. As I focus on it over time, other little perceptions cling to it.  The symptom gains mass.  Eventually, that vague perception hatches into a living, repeating thing.
So it was with my twisty head.
At first, I had a vague sensation that my neck wanted to twist to the right. It was a thought, not a movement.  Over time, I noticed that a glass of wine, or beer, exacerbated the sensation. At night, I had trouble finding a comfortable position on the pillow.
At some point, the perception became fact. I can’t tell exactly when it happened, any more than I can say when a flower blossomed. The symptom became a force to be reckoned with.
My neck muscles want to turn my head to the right, especially when I am tired. I react by consciously returning my head to center. Eventually, this tug of war becomes a part of my identity.   
I am now a twisting bobble head doll. When did this happen?  For the first time, feel grotesque.

1 comment:

  1. I have stumbled upon your blog,as I was looking up the side effects C-L. I have always felt alone and scared with the process of PD.

    Your blog is as if I wrote it. Tears of joy are streaming down my cheeks, as I write to you.

    Thank you for sharing. This has changed my life.