Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The orthopedist figures it out.

This joke was told to me by my first consulting neurologist.
In the future, medical science will have evolved to the point where brain transplants will be common. Anybody with enough money will be able to buy a brain of their choosing.
One fellow, having just won a ridiculously large sum of money in a lottery, (yes, lotteries still exist in the future) walked into the brain sales center and told the man behind the counter, “I’ve just won the lottery, sell me a brain.”
“Why, of course.” said the salesman. “On the shelf behind me, I have a brain of a well-respected computer programmer.  Next, is the brain of a Pulitzer Prize winning author.  And in the third jar is the brain of an astrophysicist.”
“Those choices are all fine; however I really do have oodles of cash and would prefer the finest you have to offer.  Do you have any others? “ asked the fellow.
“Well sir, “said the salesman. “We can offer you this.”  Behind the counter, a secret door swung open revealing a blue velvet lined room.  Harp music played as three spotlights illuminated a single glass jar containing one brain. “This is what you have been looking for.” said the salesman.
“What makes this selection worth what I have to pay?” asked the fellow.
“Well, you see sir,” said the salesman.” This is the brain of a renowned orthopedist.  It’s never been used!”
Yes, I find this to be amusing, (feel free to substitute the subject of the joke to the occupation of your choosing), however, my orthopedist was the first physician to recognize that I might have a problem beyond rotor cuff complaints.
“Gee, Doc, “I think I said. “This shoulder problem is messing up my entire gait. I don’t enjoy walking anymore.”
Without saying a word, Doc grabbed my right arm, bent my elbow to 90 degrees with my forearm straight up in the air. Then he cranked the forearm up and down a few times. “See how the arm shakes when I move it?” he asked. “That’s called cogwheeling.  You need to see a neurologist. You might have Parkinson’s disease.”
 These were words that would change my life.

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